The Process of Creation
I’m at a retreat being affectionately called BIM. Or MIB, whichever you prefer. It stands for Building, Inquiry, and Mischief. What does that mean? Well, who knows.
For me, it means something like cultivating the consciousness needed to make contact with the world without losing sight of yourself. Where making contact is something about looking/ seeing/perceiving/understanding at a deep level (Inquiry) and making contact also means having an impact / influencing / creating (Building). The mischief? That’s the playfulness that eases the way, the foolishness to try, and the irreverence to be willing to change.
We’re in a time block dedicated to building at this very moment (at least as I write this; you dear reader are likely in a different time). The block began with some journaling prompts: What do you want to build? If you imagine not building it, what are you sad about? What do you notice you’re afraid of when it comes to building? These and even more prompts were offered, all great and helpful and useful - and I attended to none of them.
Instead, I found myself asking, what’s true? What’s true right now?
I noticed that I had things I could build. I’m in talks with a friend about a podcast. Something in me sure thinks it’d be a good idea to start braining storming about that and coming up with plans. I’ve been doing a whole heck of a lot of coaching, and from there comes a bunch of theories and models that I’d love to share in the form of blog posts. Something in me also thinks it’d be a great idea to start writing those up.
But… something feels fake about that. Or rather, I wanted to come back to the question that matters to me.
What’s true right now?
I drew it.
It feels like I’ve got this here body. It’s in a room. It’s living and breathing. It’s represented by the color purple. And the energy of my being, the focus of my attention, it’s almost like a dispossessed ghost floating just above, like scum on water. It’s red. I sure could create from this place.
But when I imagine doing so, the generator of the motion isn’t coming from within. There’s something outside of me, guiding and directing the red energy in a way that feels like bypassing or extractive. Like I’m creating because I’m supposed to create, I’m creating because my teacher wants me to. This outside pressing down energy is the background blue.
Maybe that’s fine. I’m pretty sure doing that is fine. But it’s not quite to my preference. It feels off in some way. So what else is there for me?
Pretty immediately, there’s something that wants to go NO NOPE noooo nooo thank you baiii.
A sweet little overwhelmed nugget. Look how thin the purple line of my container is, how little skin there is between me and the world. Look how my energy (still not in my body) creates a protective bubble for me. It blocks out all that blue that’s not mine. It protects me from the influence I don’t wish to receive. But wait… what’s that green beneath? What’s that pink trying to come through? From this stance, I’ll never know.
And again, there’s nothing wrong with this stance. If I wanna collapse and block out the world, then that is exactly what I’ll do. I trust the process. And, I notice that’s not what I want. There’s something that feels off about it. What can I do instead? What other path is available to me? What feels right and true?
Ah. Right. I could sit. Oof. I could sit. I could be still. Hoooo-boy, something in me is uncomfortable with that! Squirmy squirmy squirm. That’s okay though. The squirming is kind of like the tingles in your foot as it’s asleep. Bringing sensation back into the body isn’t comfortable, but it’s often desired.
What changes here? Well, all that energy floating up and above is now in me. It settles in those places of aliveness in my core. It fills the nooks and crannies leaving nothing abandoned. And the container, look how thick it’s gotten! How amazing it would be to be strong enough to hold all of me - while simultaneously allowing a little bit of the energy to leak out here or there. The goal isn’t to cut myself off entirely.
And as I go still, as I take time to be, other things start to come into the awareness. There’s a ground beneath me. I feel my connection to the world in the green. I feel supported and like there’s something to rest against. When there’s a me that’s fully here, it allows for touching that which is not me. The blue external influence no longer exists as a directed threat. It simply is.
Huh. There’s also this pink thread, dancing and weaving, unpredictable and coming in from behind. What could that be?
Whoa. Okay. A lot going on here. What’s changed? Standing. Ready. Arms open.
The green representing the connection to the ground and the world has expanded. No longer just resting against it, now I’m open and allowing it to run from root to crown. A pillar that supports me all the way through.
That pink line isn’t just going toward my back, but now it’s pooling there in my chest and coming out the front. To me, this is inspiration. This is that whispered knowing. It’s the thread to follow whose every step is shifting. Following its path is one of trust in the unknown.
The blue of the external world is still there. Still allowed to be. Still not disrupting me. The purple representing my physical vessel, my container, the skin between me and the world is still solidly there.
And finally, the red of my life energy. It’s still there, fully infusing my body. It’s there intermingling with the energy of the earth and the energy of inspiration. It flows with ease and direction out of my hands and into the world. A self-generated creation that’s fully resourced and grounded.
All of this has been pretty flowery and metaphorical. Maybe it makes sense. But for the purpose of clarity, let me say it explicitly.
I am making the claim that the act of creation works best when you’re first grounded in your body.
I am claiming that creation works best when it comes from self-generated desire; not from a sense of expectations or shoulds.
I am claiming that creation works best when you’re grounded, both in a literal sense of being in your body and in the world, and the more metaphorical sense of being calm and steady.
I am claiming that creation works best when you’re open to receiving unexpected and unexplainable inspiration, when you’re in a stance to saying yes to a thing and trusting that each step which feels good right now will lead to a larger whole that makes sense once complete.
I am claiming that this process results in things that are real and not fake.
I am claiming that this process is energizing and generative, that it does not leave one burnt out or drained.
I am claiming that you do not have to do this process.
I am claiming that you can create from a more disconnected place, but that it does have drawbacks.
I am claiming that you can bypass creation entirely, but that it also has drawbacks.
This entire post has been an explanation of the process, as well as a demonstration.
Back when I began, I was tempted to do the “try to find a thing to create!” I knew it felt off. I had a pull towards drawing some pictures, to describe what was true right now. And as I stayed with that, one single step at a time, what unfolded was something that, for me at least, rings as true.
For that, I am glad.
